Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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