I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
