Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
