Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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