Plan B is the new Plan A
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
