dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
