you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
my liver is dry heaving
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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