you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
