I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
