Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
