btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
