if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
