I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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