Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
