And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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