Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
