I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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