I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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