Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
