Ambien. No doubt about it.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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