Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
