Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
