Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
