So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
