Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
