Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
