You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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