I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
