i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
