it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
