just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
