Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Randomize
