My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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