So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
