well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
