What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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