I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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