but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
