Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
