My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
