CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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