The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
