You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
