yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
