why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize