Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
