Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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