Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
