what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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