Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
