I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
