As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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