Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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