It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize