just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
