Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
