You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
