"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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