Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
