And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
