Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize