oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
