you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
