lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
