we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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