i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
