i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
