i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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