Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
