I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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