Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
