My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
