ugly people sure do ruin things
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
